but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
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