I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
