The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
