so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
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I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
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After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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