She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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