I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
