my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
50% drunk capacity currently
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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