It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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