Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
