My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"