ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.