She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..