dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
