It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
