just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
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so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
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my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.