Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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