you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
