Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize