How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
