She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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