Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
