i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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