How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
