Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
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