Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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