Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize