is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
