I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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