all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I don't deserve a penis
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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