Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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