My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
