I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
