O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was not drunk enough for that final.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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