she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
