make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Randomize
