he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My dick has a subreddit
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
