he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
