btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
