garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
