Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
