Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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