How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
