maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Say something about gay babies.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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