I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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