Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
pray to the hookup gods
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
