where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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