I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
