Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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