Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
