For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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