i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
