its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
