Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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