another moral hangover. fuck.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize