Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Boobs are out for the taking
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
