i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize