trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
