yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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