elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Less talking, more tequila
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
