Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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