oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We need to get me chipped asap
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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