Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
