He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
