Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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