WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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