Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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