I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
