What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
