I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
